


Beastly Appetites

by valdomarx (cptxrogers)



Series: Octoberfest fics [6]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Humor, Jaskier has a lot of love to give, Jealous Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Monsterfucker Jaskier | Dandelion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:22:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26866594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cptxrogers/pseuds/valdomarx
Summary: Five times Jaskier seduced the monster (and one time he seduced the monster hunter).
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Octoberfest fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956754
Comments: 20
Kudos: 478





	Beastly Appetites

**Author's Note:**

> For the Gerakier Hallows prompts 5+1 and Monsterfucking.

Geralt is loath to admit it but there are times when having Jaskier as a travelling companion provides… unexpected benefits. 

They’ve been sent to subdue a greater vampire, one he knows to be intelligent, powerful, and almost impossible to kill. They’ve got her contained, but she’s smiling like she’s the one playing with them.

“Alright,” Geralt says, hands in the air. Their best bet is to make a deal with her. “What do you want?”

She smirks at Jaskier, all sharp teeth and cold, dead eyes, and shrieks, “I vant to suck your blood!”

Jaskier… Jaskier titters. The tips of his ears go a lovely blush colour. “Madame! How very forward of you.” He takes a step closer. “I normally expect dinner first, but for a lady as alluring as you I’m sure I can make an exception.” 

She strokes a clawed finger under his chin and he giggles. Her head tilts and her fangs retract. She seems utterly delighted with her new toy. “You may go,” she says, waving a dismissive hand at Geralt.

“I won’t leave Jaskier!”

Jaskier turns and gives him the _fuck off for a minute, will you, I’m trying to score here_ eyebrows.

“Oh. Umm.” He fidgets awkwardly. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” He glances back at Jaskier. “I’ll be right outside. If you. Uhh. Need anything.”

* * *

“Oh, Mister Wolf, what big eyes you have.” Jaskier advances on the snapping, snarling werewolf, because apparently survival instincts aren’t his strong suit.

“Jaskier,” Geralt hisses. “Get back here.” Only a fool would confront a werewolf during a full moon. 

“And what big teeth you have.” Jaskier is apparently the world’s biggest fool, however, and keeps going, reaching one hand out to the beast.

“And what a big…” Jaskier glances down, and his eyes widen and the scent of arousal spikes the air. “And what a _very_ big endowment you have.”

“Jaskier! Do not taunt the werewolf in rut, _trust me on this_.”

“Pssh. It’s fine. He’s a friendly one, aren’t you?” Jaskier holds out his hand and the werewolf licks it. “Oh yes.” He glances down again at the wolf’s terrifyingly large member and his pulse spikes loud enough for Geralt to hear it. “We’re going to be _very good_ friends, I can tell already.”

* * *

“She’s a sex demon, Jaskier.”

“I _know_. You should have seen the thing she did with her-”

“No. I mean literally, she is a succubus, feeding on energy from sexual encounters.”

Jaskier shrugs, nonplussed. “And?”

Geralt blinks. “And doesn’t it bother you that she‘s siphoning off a bit of your life force every time you… you know.”

“All sex is an exchange, Geralt. For money or status, for love or for power. And anyway,” he grins wickedly, “I’ve got plenty of life force to spare.”

* * *

Dopplers aren’t evil, but they are tricky. Geralt finally has this one cornered, and he needs to persuade them to leave. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

The doppler hisses at him. “Then leave me the fuck alone! I’m just want to have a bit of fun in the big city before I have to return to hiding in the goddamn countryside.”

“So you’re looking for entertainment?” Jaskier steps forward. “A good time? A wild night out?”

The doppler nods. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, fortunately for you, wild nights are my specialty.” 

The doppler raises an eyebrow at him. “Oh really? Think you can keep up?” Their skin ripples, shifting between different bodies, different genders, different ages.

“Oh!” Jaskier clasps his hands together in delight. “This is going to be _fun_!”

* * *

“You’re sounding very judgemental right now, Geralt.”

“It’s a fucking leshen, Jaskier! It’s an ancient forest relic, a spirit of great power from before the dawn of man. It’s not a pretty girl at a tavern!”

“Actually his name is Borowy, and he’s very tender.”

“It’s not even humanoid! It has a deer skull for a head and tree branches for arms! How were you even planning to…”

“Oh, I have some ideas.”

“For the love of the gods, do not give me details.”

* * *

"Could you please, _just for once_ , not fuck the monster we’re supposed to be hunting?” he snaps. It comes out rather more forcefully than he intended.

Jaskier sets his hands on his hips. “I think my alternative methods of monster pacification have been remarkably effective so far. I don’t see what you’re so persnickety about.”

Geralt crosses his arms and glares. It’s annoying to admit, but he’s actually not wrong. It has been effective, as their fattened coin purse shows. It’s just that-

“Oh ho, I see the problem.” Jaskier smirks triumphantly. “You’re jealous.”

Geralt staggers back. He thought he’d been so subtle. He thought he’d kept his feelings buried where Jaskier would never see them. He thought he’d gotten away with it.

“I…” His palms are sweaty. “I didn’t want you to know. I would never act on it. I’d never make you feel uncomfortable in that way.”

Jaskier’s brow creases. “What are you talking about? Just because you’re jealous of my monster hunting skills, that doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable.”

 _OH._ Oh shit. Oh fuck. Maybe he can walk that back. Maybe…

“Hang on a second.” Jaskier rounds at him, astonished. “Did you mean… Are you jealous because…”

Jaskier steps close. _Very_ close. He smells goddamn intoxicating.

“Why Geralt,” he sets a hand on Geralt’s chest, smiling like he’s been handed the most beautiful gift. “You should have just said.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on [tumblr](https://valdomarx.tumblr.com/post/631258980201742336/beastly-appetites-five-times-jaskier-seduced-the).


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